what my tatts mean...

hey... well i've had a few people ask me what my tattoos mean... ok so the sailing ship (or clipper ship) represents my life. So i am the ship going about my life basically able to control where i go, but like the ocean life does not always stay the same, sometimes it's calm, other times it's stormy... also while i can steer my life where i choose, the currents, tide and wind all play a part in where i actually end up, so God and other factors out of my control affect my journey.

also, the ship symbolises the search, or a continual seeking that i feel is a part of me...

the star with the cross in it. well i am a christian, so the cross is a reference to my faith. the star represents my love for space... and sci-fi...

the words FAITH HOPE LOVE, these are from 1 Corinthians 13:13 (New Living Translation) 'Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.' i see these as being things i always need more of in my life and hope that one day i'll be known by...

the roses are for love. and also represent my love for natural things and creation in general.

the little stars and dots, again these are for my love of space and sci-fi...

well that's pretty much it...

thanks for listening...

cheers - sye :)

jesus having sex

ok, so this post is gonna be divided into 3 sections... i guess you could call it a tri-post...

Part 1 - jesus having sex

My housemate has been kind enough to lend me their dvd's of a tv series called 'the L word' its' basically a drama about a bunch of lesbians. i find it quite engaging and the character development is good... i like it. anyway... in the show one of the characters is the curator of an art gallery and they are showing an exhibition called 'provocations'. well it's quite controversial... and some of the pieces are quite nasty... anyway... one of the pieces is a video depicting a jesus figure and 3 men who look like apostles are standing around, as the camera pulls back we see that there is a naked woman in front of the jesus figure have sex with him. i must clarify by saying that you don't see the actual act, just her naked body in front of his. In the show there is a group of christians who actively oppose the exhibition and are doing lots to try to stop it.

ok, so that's the summery, well it got me thinking, as a christian should i be offended that an artist has used a jesus figure in such a way? or as an artist should i view the work as i would any other piece of art, by trying to find a connection to the piece and seeing if i can get a glimpse of what the artist is trying to tell me?

it's a pickle.

i guess the simple fact is that i'm not offended at all. it really does not bother me that Jesus is being depicted in such a way... and i can only explain it by saying that it's really obvious to me that the jesus figure is not really Jesus. i know it's art. and i know that the artist is trying to express an idea or emotion in a provocative way... i dunno... it's just art to me... maybe i'm to blasé about it but i really don't have a strong negative reaction to this piece.

so is it worth getting all high and mighty and angry at an artist or gallery because they depict my God in such a way? for me the answer is no. aside from the fact the this particular work does not really impact me, as a christian i reckon there are heaps more important things to get angry about... and i would rather let the work open a door for me to talk to someone about who Jesus really is...

Part 2 - emotions

ok, so talking about art, i was thinking today that it is impossible for us as humans to actually share an emotion. all we can do, through words, or music or art, is to describe the symptoms of the emotion. for example, i can say that when i broke up with the ex-girlfriend i felt empty in the pit of my stomach and i felt constantly sick... you see i can't actually show you what the feeling was like, all i can do is use words to get as close to describing the physical expression of the emotion... now take music and art, both of these are great vehicles for convoying emotion, but the drawback is that the artist or musician has no control over how the viewer is affected by the work, so take a soulful guitar solo played by a master guitarist, the guitarist might be intending the solo to make people feel sad, but what if for some strange reason that solo made me feel great? i know there are songs that i love and lift me up that others find bring them down... so to sum up what i'm saying is that i believe it's impossible for humans to actually share an emotion, all we can do is describe what's going on and hope that what we call it is similar to what others feel.

Part 3 - community

last night i was lucky enough to go to a small group of christians to hear a friend of mine speak about their experience in doing church a different way.

i won't go into detail about that, but i will say that was able to identify how i felt about regular churches... and it's this:

people (including me) are looking to community. by that i mean we all want to have people around us who we share our lives with, people who care about us and who we care about. this is one of the main reasons that churches exist. the problem is that we start to make church less about connecting with people and sharing life, and more about putting on a program. this leads to lots of very busy, but ill-connected people. i'm not saying that getting together and celebrating what God is doing in us is a bad thing, but i am saying that we tend to go way beyond that... i could be out almost every night of the week at some church activity or other, which leaves me no time to spend with my friends or making new ones. so then my life becomes simply a series of appointments with eating and sleeping fit in around them.

this is absurd. why would anyone what to live like that? i'm looking for a church that lets me be a part of a genuine community of people, and is also making a difference in connecting more people together.

hmm... well i guess i'll need to think about this more...

thanks for listening...

- sye :)

Freedom & Liberty

hey... ok so tonight i went to see the movie 'Amazing Grace' it's about the abolition of slavery in the british empire... it's was ok... the story was great and some moments were great, but as a whole it just didn't impact me much... but i think i'll go again just to see what a second viewing does...

anyway... a few of us were traveling together in a car and one of my friends decided that they didn't want to wear their seat belt... their excuse was along the lines of 'it's the first step to a total lack of freedom'... i can't remember all their theory, but basically it was that forced seat belt wearing would eventually lead to a totalitarian society...

ok... so is it just me or is this a little extreme? i know they were kinda tongue in cheek, but i believe part of them was serious... ok, so this poses the question: is the loss of a freedom, designed to protect people, really that bad?

nearly all of us live in a world where we don't have total freedom, instead we have laws and social regulations that restrict us in certain ways... usually with the intent being to protect us from harm... trying to find a balance between safety and liberty...

it's not perfect... which makes sense as it's humans who are making the rules and humans are inherently flawed...

so do we,as responsible citizens, simply disregard laws or rules that seem ridiculous?

i know some of my friends who are into social justice might say yes...

i'm not sure... i guess if a law went against something i strongly believed in then i would probably break it...

but i also believe in having as safe a community as we can manage... which means that there will inevitability be a loss of freedom...

hmm... i just worked out that i'm a bit of a fence sitter on this issue...

i want to change the word, make it better, but i don't see the sense in petty defiance... my personal philosophy is to try to model as much as i can respect for others... i guess i figure that if everyone did actually treat everyone else as they want to be treated the world would be a much better place...

i bit of wishful thinking i know... but hey at least it's positive...

despite all this i fully support the efforts of groups like the salvation army and make poverty history and stop the traffik to create large scale social reform...

yeah... well that's me for tonight...

let me know what you think...

thanks for listening

- sye :)

bring the light

ok, here's the lyrics to 'Bring the Light' off the new Smashing Pumpkins album 'Zeitgeist'

Shot down I stood
Withstood my neighborhood
I got it wrong
But I could
Follow love lest I learn

It's light
To bring the light
I fought with all my might
With light
Oh bring the light

Light
Bring the light
I never felt so good and right
But tonight
You'll never need another sound
Oh bring the light
Bring the light to me

Here and gone oh I trust
You'd spit upon my dust
And mix my ash with your blood
A son of God you know you must arrive
In the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light
Light
Oh bring the light

Light
Bring the light
It's yours not mine
If you just want to survive
Go grab a glimpse of any star
In heaven's high
I never felt so real and loved and alive
No shadows follow me unsung
In the light

Bring the light to me

A flower song, clear and bright
Is it wrong in neon white
To insist you are mine
Standing dumb in the light

Bring the light
Oh bring the light
Bring the light

Light
Bring the light
I never felt so real and right and alive
Don't let them steal you from what's yours by right
Light
Bring the light
You know there comes a place and time
You can't deny
With every movement shadows cast and align

Bring the light
Bring the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light
Light
Bring the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light
Light
Bring the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light
Light
Bring the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light
Light

ok, so heaps of these words have meaning to me, especially when put to great music... (i guess what i'm hinting at is GO BUY THE CD & LISTEN FOR YOURSELF!) yeah... well here's what speaks to me the most...

the chorus:

Light
Bring the light
I never felt so good and right
But tonight
You'll never need another sound
Oh bring the light
Bring the light to me

well, this is pretty obvious, at least to me... cause this describes how i feel right now... 'so right and good' yeah i guess you could say i feel pretty darn good... God has opened my heart and now every time i pray i can't help but feel great... even when my prayers are serious... the process of talking to God affects my feelings... it's hard to explain... i guess i feel like i have just stepped into 'The Light' and part of me is not coping with the brightness, but the rest of me is loving being able to see... yeah i could go on for ages... and maybe even get slightly deep, but alas, i'm tired and thus will not... ohh... ok... since you asked so nicely... the line that says ' You'll never need another sound' seems incongruous with the rest, yet if i look at the chorus as a metaphor for God's light, then it seems to suggest that His light is not just a visual radiance that one can perceive, but also something that replace the wonder of music and sound... or maybe it contains sound... either way it's impressive... and i would love to have light like that on me...

well that's it for tonight...

thanks for listening... and seriously you should check out the cd... it's really good... check out: http://www.myspace.com/smashingpumpkins for info on where to get it etc...

cheers - sye :)

yeah yeah yeah

hey, well tonight i feel kinda strange... i feel like i'm on the brink of a new and wonderful experience of God, yet have to wait... well i'm impatient... so waiting sucks... i don't know where God is leading me right now specifically, but i do know that He has called me back to the salvos... and the way things are looking now i'll be playing drums in a church shortly... which is quite exciting...

yet despite the excitement of new possibilities and getting involved in ministry again, i feel a little disconnected. one thing i have discovered about myself is that i am a relational person. even though i'm quite introverted, and need time to myself, i learn and worship and grow spiritually with others. i need other people to talk to, bounce ideas off and of course pray with.

also i need others to help keep me accountable... cause i can justify almost anything... to myself anyway... so hopefully this church will work out, at least for now and i'll connect with some other people who are like me, desperate for God and real workings of the Holy Spirit in their life.

the thing is, part of me has gotten quite used to not living for God and likes just doing my own thing, being selfish.

on a different note i got the new smashing pumpkins album... it's great, you should check it out... also the new linkin park album is good too... and the new project 86 album... there's lots of great music around...

ok, back to spiritual matters... recently i have realised that i had no love for people who were really different from me. so i've started asking God to change my heart and you know, it's working... i think i'm starting to see people for more than just what they do (or don't do)... so that's a step forward i guess...

also, since i'm in a ranting mood, let me just vent my total and complete frustration with politics... not the kind that runs a county but the kind that happens whenever groups of people get together... like in a church... or office.... as humans we get so caught up with stupid, small minded thinking and forget that life is more than who sits at their desk the most, or who swears the least... i mean really, didn't Jesus actively work against power-plays and the like?

i'm totally sick of it all. my new approach is treat people with respect, even if they don't seem to deserve it, and not join in gossip and slander and jockeying for position... i just want to do the best i can for Jesus, and hopefully help a few people in the process.

ultimately i want my life to have meaning... i guess that's the most important thing to me...

anyway... thanks for listening...

cheers

- sye :)

Enlightenment

ok, so i've been thinking tonight about the concept of enlightenment... now i'm the first to admit that i have a very limited knowledge of religions outside of Christianity, so i can only go on what the word itself means to me...

i think it's amazing how this word can have at least two distinct implications, the first being about some sort of illuminated state of being, where the shadows are cast away and things are clear, the second is a lifting of burdens, the weight of the world no longer being quite as heavy.

i desire both of these.

i would love to live my life being able to experience everything clearly, not constantly as a loss or trying to guess what the heck is going on. i feel quite blind both spiritually and emotionally. i'm not someone blessed with amazing insight into the way the world works and human interaction, i just stumble along... hoping that i don't make too big a mess of things as i grope blindly in the darkness...

I would also love to not bear the burdens i do... but for some crazy reason i cling to them... probably cause they help to define me... or at least i think they do... hmmm... or maybe i just can't imagine life without them... i've lived with them so long that i don't know how to live any other way...

anyway... this has turned into a somewhat depressing post... so i'll stop now and hopefully i'll have something more positive to say next time...

cheers - sye :)

new beginning...

well... i'm starting over... i'm going to attampt to blog at least once a week... and hopefully i'll be able to get this blog to appear on my facebook automatically... which is pretty cool... if it works... ok, so bear with as i get use to this... cheers - sye :)