Enlightenment

ok, so i've been thinking tonight about the concept of enlightenment... now i'm the first to admit that i have a very limited knowledge of religions outside of Christianity, so i can only go on what the word itself means to me...

i think it's amazing how this word can have at least two distinct implications, the first being about some sort of illuminated state of being, where the shadows are cast away and things are clear, the second is a lifting of burdens, the weight of the world no longer being quite as heavy.

i desire both of these.

i would love to live my life being able to experience everything clearly, not constantly as a loss or trying to guess what the heck is going on. i feel quite blind both spiritually and emotionally. i'm not someone blessed with amazing insight into the way the world works and human interaction, i just stumble along... hoping that i don't make too big a mess of things as i grope blindly in the darkness...

I would also love to not bear the burdens i do... but for some crazy reason i cling to them... probably cause they help to define me... or at least i think they do... hmmm... or maybe i just can't imagine life without them... i've lived with them so long that i don't know how to live any other way...

anyway... this has turned into a somewhat depressing post... so i'll stop now and hopefully i'll have something more positive to say next time...

cheers - sye :)